then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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