So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
