glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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