I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
