It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
