It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize