I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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