Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
