some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
