Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
