i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
