ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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