So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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