I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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