you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
