i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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