My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize