If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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