why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
