I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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