Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
