We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
