We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
