I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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