I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
