so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
