she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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