Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
