So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No subtext here. People are naked.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Randomize
