I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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