When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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