I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
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