Someone shit on the floor
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
