what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
