jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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