imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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