He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
