the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
