She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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