The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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