Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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