Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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