I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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