this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
