She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
