That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
my poor anus
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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