weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
