Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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