Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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