I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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