i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
