idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
