The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
