so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
