i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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