seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
