Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
