Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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