I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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