Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
