Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
