My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
