Yo dont text me then not text me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I came so hard my ears popped.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
