So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
